Thursday, 14 October 2010

Cure cancer, treat HIV, diagnose rare genetic diseases [aka back to uni]

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Ho ho ho! Christmas is getting nearer and nearer (at this point, 72 days, 7 hours, 7 minutes) and we are experiencing the ending of a British autumn (why don't you all guys put a hand up in the air? the wind will wave it for you). 'Tis the season for new refill pads, Staedtler fineliners, graph paper and goggles, as a new year begins for those in uni. And, of course, a new type of seasonal virus is coming to get us. No, it's not a new type of squirrel flu closely related to swine, it is freshers' flu, which, like any other type of respectable flu, spreads to 2nd years, 3rd years and university staff. Through warm waves of influenza, the university life carries on at its own pace, undergraduates and graduates rushing in and out of lecture theaters (it's the first week, you might even be able to choose your seat in a couple of days!).
This year, we are expected to cure cancer (pretty sure I solved that one in 5000 characters last year), treat HIV and elucidate rare genetic diseases (each in 6 sides of A4). Thinking caps on, pubmed at hand, a nice strain of flu inside our cells and off we go! I cannot help wondering who will be those that people will be using as reference at the end of their scientific essays in 20 years time. I will let you use your imagination while I grab an edition of Voet&Voet  and wish you to spend an enjoyable time with TED.
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Thursday, 30 September 2010

How to catch an Englishman

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My seasonal moving from Eastern Europe to Merry England (or Cloudy England, for those who seek a sense of reality) made me come to one conclusion: everyone wants to be English. As I am writing this post, old-fashionably, on square paper (while the people in the plane are talking about cars, the Queen and everything in between), I realise that I have a darn easy way to make everyone's dream come true (time travelling excluded). The answer is cute, fluffy and ready to get you (or, to keep it real, it likes more the catch-me-if-you-can game). It makes you socially unattractive, it's got a craving for cups of tea and a good capability of keeping you under the weather (no, not sun, the other type of weather).

One Paracetamol for all of you who thought of a little fellow called the common cold virus. It's been bugging me for the past week, and oh it will so bug you. One droplet containing the virus can make you behave like an Englishman in no time! These folks climb up to the back of your throat, sticking to the receptors of some nose cells. The adenoid cells (a gland at the back at your nose) have loads of receptors for this virus, the latter being dragged into the cells, where its particles are being made. In the end, the infected cell give up, releasing its contents  and thus infecting other adenoid cells around. In 8 to 12 hours, you'll begin to feel slightly English, but in 36-72 hours you'll be more than considering yourself one. You'll ask for tea, tea, tea and you''ll be rather hot (despite the fact of having a cold). Many will run from you and many will start questioning your distinctly frosty behaviour. But, don't worry, in 7 to 10 days, you'll be back to normal (no citizenship obtained). Funny visit, isn't it?


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